Let Your Mental Wellness Take Priority
August 26, 2025 | Episode 45
Producer’s Note: The following is an AI-generated transcript of The Wellness Conversation, an OhioHealth Podcast
SPEAKERS: Lindsey Gordon, Marcus Thorpe, Dr Laurie Hommema
Marcus Thorpe 0:00
Welcome back to the wellness conversation, an OhioHealth Podcast. I'm Marcus Thorpe with Lindsay Gordon, and I certainly love when our topics dive into the world of mental health, it is so important. So feel free to like and subscribe to this podcast now, and you can look through our amazing library of past episodes on mental health. They are certainly worth exploring while you're at it. Rate two, it certainly helps people find us.
Lindsay Gordon 0:36
This topic definitely touches everyone in some capacity, and this episode title says it all. Let your mental wellness take priority. Women are often expected to do it all, be caregivers, professional life, take care of parents, be with friends, all while smiling through the stress. It's a lot, and too often, the mental and emotional toll gets pushed aside. Today we're talking about what that toll really looks like, and how we can start prioritizing mental health as a real and necessary part of well being. Today's guest is someone who has helped lead OhioHealth efforts in reshaping how we think about mental health and health care and beyond. Dr Laurie Hommema, Senior Medical Director of provider and associate well being at OhioHealth. Thank you so much for being here. Dr Hommema.
Dr. Laurie Hommema 0:36
Yes, I really appreciate the opportunity.
Lindsay Gordon 0:36
Let's get into it. So when we talk about mental wellness, it's important to start with what that really means. I mean, I feel like everyone kind of comes to some definition on their own, but for you, how would you define it?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 1:01
Yeah, I think it's a really important question, and one that really helps us solve the problem when we're really, really trying to improve it, I really rely on the Stanford model of well being to really think about the definition of well being. And it's more than just your personal factors, the things that you do for yourself, it's the culture that you sit in, as well as kind of the efficiency of the world around you. So when we think about how to improve well being, particularly mental health, it's really helpful to think of it more of a three legged stool, rather than just what you can do for yourself.
Marcus Thorpe 2:14
When I think of mental health, it's easy to kind of minimize your feelings about what's going on, maybe ignore those red flags and red lights that seem to be going off all the time when you're overwhelmed. Can you talk about why it's important maybe to name what you're experiencing not just sit there in it and be like, Oh, I'm fine. I can get through this. Why do you need to really kind of take it face on and figure out what's going on before it starts to get too deep for you?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 2:42
Yeah, absolutely. I think that really your mental well being impacts all aspects of your life, whether it's how you perform at work, the physiologic stress that you experience is real and has real damaging effects on your body long term. So mental health and physical health are very closely tied together. So when you ignore and ignore and push off and resist, the effects can be pretty damaging to your own health and to how you kind of show up in the world.
Marcus Thorpe 3:10
I think about what Lindsay said in kind of the open of getting started here and kind of focusing on women too, and look, that backpack is extremely full. I think about my wife and all the things that she has. She's a professional. She has a friend and social group. We have two kids that are, you know, at the teenage years. Plus, I can be an awful lot. I openly admit that too, but she just puts her head down and pushes through it, and then I can see when the wire starts to fray a little bit, is that what you think a lot of women are kind of doing is just running until it's the gas tank is completely empty.
Dr. Laurie Hommema 3:46
Yeah, I think it's, it's very common in today's society. I think there's a lot of folks who are in that sandwich generation, who are caregiving for multiple generations. More and more dual professional households exist, or dual working households exist where everyone holds a position in the workforce, plus then those caregiving responsibilities, we still tend to put most of those burdens on the women in our lives. And so I do think the reality of that weight and that amount of mental load, if you will, is something that a lot of women are experiencing.
Lindsay Gordon 4:21
How can a woman prioritize in the moment when it's stress, high stress, you got to make a decision quick. Let's say you're feeling that tug of war between parents and kids, and you got to decide in a moment. How do you make that how do you how do you make that judgment call?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 4:37
Yeah, I think it's something we grapple with every day. It's you sort of feel like a firefighter, a little bit of like, what, what's the highest priority, what's the most acute issue that needs dealt with in this moment? And what often happens is you get left out of that equation. And so it's really, I don't like to say balance, because there isn't balance in life, in the way that I think we've all. Been conditioned to think it's really kind of this idea of integration, of, how do you integrate care for yourself, for others, for the work that you do, for the community that you serve? How does it integrate so it so it feels right to you in that moment, and that can shift day to day, you know, week to week.
Lindsay Gordon 5:16
I just had this moment come up this week. Marcus knows. I'll share it just so, you know, others maybe can relate too. I had the call that, hey, dad's in the hospital, you know, and I had just picked up my kids from daycare. We're going through the time of transition with the kids, because my son's starting kindergarten, so we're starting to get, like, all the feels they know when change is coming, right? Like he's off the walls at four o'clock in the afternoon, like it's a witching hour or something, but it's just because, like, he knows change is coming, right? And I'm sure you've seen that with your kids too, but I got that call and I was like, Oh my gosh, okay, we're heading into the weekend. My son needs me now more than ever, because we have a few weeks out until kindergarten starts, but my dad needs me in this moment. My mom needs me in this moment. My brother needs me. So what do I do? And I kind of just went with my gut. Like, I don't know if I did the right or the wrong thing, but I just went, I had to be there. And then I was talking with my husband, husband about it after the fact. And we're like, you know, it's also kind of good to show through example and through action. Like, to our kids, like, Hey, you take care of mom and dad too. You know, you're kind of like using it as this moment of like we care for our own I don't know that's what I took from it, but it was hard in that moment. I felt this extreme pressure of, what do I do? And I've been very lucky to not have to feel that up until this point, you know. But I know so many people go through it, burnout when you hear that word, what comes to mind for you? Is it a term that we overuse? Or what do you think about that?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 6:47
Yeah, well, I think it is a term that can be overused. And I think what's interesting particularly about mental health is that we've really, as a society, kind of minimized and really incorporated mental health diagnoses into our everyday language, which I think actually causes a stigma around help seeking. When we say things like, oh, that's insane, or I'm so crazy, or my ADHD is acting up, and we actually don't carry those diagnoses. I think burnout is actually a clinical diagnosis, but it became very common to say when someone was feeling that end of the rope, but it actually is a true syndrome that's related to occupational or caregiver health, where not only are you emotionally exhausted, so you don't feel like you have anything left to give, you have to depersonalize your tasks or the care that you're giving. So things are objects or they're just a check mark, so you can survive day to day, and then you go home at the end of the day and feel like you didn't accomplish anything. That is a true clinical syndrome that has has actual treatments that we can provide and and ways that we can change your work environment, your caregiving, caregiver environment. So that actually improves over time.
Lindsay Gordon 8:04
I think women, too can feel burnout in different ways too, as it relates to like, what's going on in their world. So mom, burnout, I hear I feel that. I see it. They talk about on Instagram now, like you're coming off summer months, where you've been probably around your kids a whole lot more. Now you're revving up for a new routine of a new school year, getting back into that but then women also can feel burnout if they've been trying to conceive and they're hitting road blocks with infertility and family planning. Women can feel burnout when they've been like Marcus said, you know, just kind of putting everything before them, you know, all the responsibilities. What advice would you have to someone listening who thought, who heard one of those things and was like, yep, that's that's my moment right now. That's the space I'm living in.
Dr. Laurie Hommema 8:50
Yeah. I think there's a lot of different things that you can do in those moments. I think one thing that makes it really challenging to combat burnout, whether it's caregiver or occupational or whatever type of burnout you might be experiencing is comparison. And so we're kind of steeped in comparisons of others. And particularly when you think about social media, or you think about the kind of the sound bites every day that are coming at you, they're often the very good stories, or how people want to be perceived. So a lot of times, women or others feel very isolated that they're the only one experiencing those moments of frustration with their kids, or those moments of frustration with a health issue that they're dealing with because everyone else is presenting a much different picture. And so that idea of comparing your life to others can really kind of get you stuck deeper in burnout than maybe you initially, initially were when you started feeling, you know, feeling some of those concerns.
Marcus Thorpe 9:53
As the clear oldest person in this room, I will say that used to be called Keeping Up with the Joneses. I know people don't always say that anymore, but people. Like me still say those kinds
Dr. Laurie Hommema 10:01
Yeah, that's right.
Marcus Thorpe 10:01
I've had the pleasure of knowing Dr. Hommema for almost 10 years professionally in this world, but I've heard you speak multiple times about you working at some points early in your career, 25 30 hour shifts and kind of pushing yourself through I know that that doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to, thankfully, but I think it does show a culture, in some ways, of overworking, and how that can be worn as kind of a badge of honor in some regards. How do we start to push back on the mentality of pushing yourself past the point where you're not doing any good for yourself, your health, your family, even probably the job that you're trying to do and accomplish. How do we push back on that idea that we don't need to overwork ourselves?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 10:46
Yeah, I think part of it is societal pressures, right? We're a 24 hour cycle, I feel with everything, and there's expectations for us to really show up and be present and want what we want when we want it. So I think that that's that's a difficult thing to push back against societally, but personally, really, it's truly about building self awareness and really understanding what your true limits are, and taking some time to kind of sit in those moments of overworking and and really examine why you might be overworking. For a lot of folks, work is a coping mechanism, and although you think I'm stressed at work, I'm tired, but it is often a place individuals can escape and kind of forget the other things that are happening in their life, and it's something that they're very comfortable with. So it becomes very rote, they get into a groove. So it can actually become a coping mechanism. So really taking some time to understand why you might be overworking is really the first step.
Marcus Thorpe 11:51
Again, as the oldest person in this room, I'll say that's one thing that we've learned a lot from, I think, this 20 to 35 year old generation of that they see the world a little bit differently and realize where the boundaries are for themselves. And I think that's something that we can all look and it doesn't make them lazy, it doesn't make them not want to do great work. They just have a tendency to understand things a little bit differently. And I think that that might be something that we can learn from my generation and just a little bit younger than me, of somebody in their late 40s.
Dr. Laurie Hommema 12:22
Absolutely. And when you really think about generational differences in mental health, specifically, a lot of it has to do with the conditions in which you were raised, and the events that happened to you in those formative years, right your adolescence. And so when we think about the newer generations entering the workforce, their formative moment. It was post 911 so they kind of lived in that world of anxiety of something bad is going to happen, and then the pandemic actually happened. They saw lives lost, significant lives lost. They saw jobs lost, and they saw their entire world kind of taken away from them, and overnight, in some cases. And so the reality of living in the moment became much more important. I think some of us in the older generation, myself included, recall a time where things maybe weren't as tenuous. So we tend to go back to that kind of our old ways of what what was happening to us in our formative years.
Marcus Thorpe 13:19
And I love this generation that's willing to talk about, I go to therapy. I think it's great. And you see women and men at the younger ages saying that publicly, or celebrities that are saying, Hey, I look at mental health as like, the same thing as my physical health. And I love that we're doing more and more of that, especially with the younger generation.
Lindsay Gordon 13:42
What would you say to someone speaking mostly for women who are sitting there thinking, Well, I just don't have the time to dedicate an hour to myself to go see a therapist, an hour a day to dedicate to myself to physical fitness. What message would you have for them so that they could know it's not being selfish, it's actually being selfless, right?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 14:05
Yeah, and I would really say two things. I think, one is that nothing ever has to be done in huge time increments, and that small moments add up just as much as dedicating an hour at the gym or with your therapist, five minutes a day, multiple times a day, is just as effective. So I think, I think that idea of a huge time commitment is a barrier. And so as as much as we can break that down, I think that's really important, I would say the second is, you really need to think of investing in yourself as an insurance policy. And so it's, you know, upfront you're putting money into an account you don't it's like, this isn't getting me very far. But then eventually, over time, the benefits do you know? They do show up, and if you aren't taking care of yourself, eventually you won't be able to take care of those around you.
Marcus Thorpe 14:54
That's a great point.
Marcus Thorpe 14:57
With your work at OhioHealth, you worked really closely with. Healthcare workers, physicians. Sometimes, you know, look, that can be a really heavy job. You see a lot. You go from sometimes one tragedy to you go to something else. You have to put the cap back on and go back to work immediately. What are common signs? Do you think that folks in that space and maybe somebody who's listening that's not in that space should be paying attention to when it comes to I'm neglecting my mental health, or I'm kind of pushing it off to the side. What are those red flags that people should be paying attention to, either in themselves or somebody that you see, that you see is really struggling?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 15:37
Yeah, absolutely. I think one of the first things that folks should notice is, really, are they showing up the way that they would like? And if that is becoming challenging, so maybe that's listening to your family when they have a concern. You know, when you walk in the door and the kids just want to unload on you, and if you find yourself snapping and not able to pay attention, that's the first sign that you're kind of in cognitive overload, if you will, if you're showing up emotionally in ways you don't attend. So either crying when you're not expecting to snapping, yelling, screaming, cursing, whatever that may be, because you just don't have any patience left, or you just feel completely overwhelmed. That's a sign. Sleep is a very common concern. If you start to experience insomnia, difficulty falling asleep because your brain won't shut off. Or you can fall asleep, but then you wake up and you're just thinking, thinking, thinking that's that's a really important sign. Or you can actually have physiologic signs and symptoms, so feeling like your chest is tight or your heart is racing or maybe skipping beats. Those can be signs of something serious that we want you to be evaluated for, but they can also be a sign of emotional unwellness, if you will.
Lindsay Gordon 16:52
And I like how you talked about at the beginning of this how the mental wellness does play into the physical wellness. You know the physical wellness also will lead to better mental wellness. So what are some like things we can start doing today, in this moment, to take charge of that?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 17:06
Yeah, well, I think I mentioned sleep just earlier. Sleep is incredibly important. It is the time not only for your body to heal itself, but it's also a time for your brain to really form new memories, to it really helps you kind of emotionally regulate. The more sleep that you have. Your frontal lobe is really important in that emotional regulation, and it needs its rest. So really thinking about sleep hygiene and the best ways for you to find time and also the ability to sleep well, physical activity is really important. And again, it doesn't have to be an hour, you know, at a at a gym for it to count. It's moments of movement throughout the day that help you process the feelings and the emotions that you're experiencing. So it could be a five minute dance break in between, in between clients, if you will. It could be walking around the parking lot. It can be doing a couple kind of high knee marching in place before a meeting. It's just something to help you process what that is, and then moments of actual calm and quiet and time for you to process what you've seen, what you've heard, what you're thinking, how you're feeling. It only takes a minute or two to do that, but building that in throughout your day, you kind of think of it as you're kind of scraping off small layers of stress so you don't come home with this cumulative pile that you've carried with you all day. And it doesn't take, like I said, it doesn't take a lot of time to do that, but you do have to be intentional about it.
Marcus Thorpe 18:41
I think it could be easy to be kind of a stuffer of those feelings, right? You know, you've had a bad day and you just stuff it down and you never really talk about it or deal with it. It's still there. It's not going away. It's one of those things that you have to eventually work through. Let's talk about the the importance of community, especially in some of those circumstances, having that, you know, tribe, a girl group, a friend group, that you can go to and say, Look, I've had a couple rough days in a row. Can you talk about the importance sometimes of having that listening ear and not just dealing with it? Maybe even it's somebody outside of your family that you have to go to. It's not always your husband or wife or whoever it is, right?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 19:18
Yeah, I think sometimes we often think a best friend or a spouse or a partner has to fulfill all of our our emotional needs, and actually we need lots of different lots of different avenues, and what what we don't process, does tend to persist and build up over time. So having those places where you feel seen and heard is extremely important. So whatever community therapist, coach, whatever that might look like for you, I think, is exceptionally important. And the thing that we really want to avoid is the sense of isolation, because as soon as you start to feel alone and isolated, you tend to isolate more and. And you don't feel like anyone understands what you're going through, it starts to breed hopelessness, and that's where we can get into the serious medical conditions. Or, you know, helplessness and hopelessness and feeling isolated is a big risk factor for suicide. So we really have to think about those communities that we can build, and where they might be.
Lindsay Gordon 20:21
And where should people turn if they if they're having those feelings of harming themselves or hurting themselves?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 20:26
Yeah, there's a lot of emergency resources for that. And 988, is a great number to have in your phone, and for for your friends, for other people that you might be talking to, because isolation is, is really, truly a bad place for people to get to.
Lindsay Gordon 20:42
It is amazing how much better I feel after like we connect when we're in the office, right? I'll go home that day just feeling so much better, or I'll drag my feet about calling someone back or FaceTiming them. FaceTiming just feels so invasive these days, because, like, my house is a disaster. The dogs are barking. My kids are wild, but I just feel so much better after after that FaceTime happens, or a phone call and there's just, it's great to hear you say, There's power in that, you know. And even if they're gonna see see it for what it is, this is my chaos, you know. Yeah, maybe it makes them feel better too.
Dr. Laurie Hommema 21:21
Yeah, absolutely. And when we look at truly factors of longevity, the things that make us live the longer, the longest, it's truly relationships that have some of the highest predictive value. So exercise, diet, not smoking, all really important. But for those who have a true community and meaningful relationships, they actually live the longest.
Marcus Thorpe 21:43
That sounds like there needs to be Grace there too. I mean, if you're going to be putting yourself out there, there has to be people on the other end that go, Hey, look, it's okay. Those are my people. We're not going to judge you too. Can you talk about grace, like for yourself and for others, and how that's important from just a healthy mental health wellness space?
Dr. Laurie Hommema 22:02
Yeah, I think there's often the assumption that when something goes wrong or maybe a conversation doesn't go the way it's supposed to, that someone's at fault. And I think if we can all show up with the idea that everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources they have in that moment, that goes a long way to build that grace for yourself and for you know, others in your lives. And I was thinking of you know, your example, with your your dad being sick, and who, what do I do in this moment, you did the best that you could in that moment with the resources you had, and the more we can build out those resources, the less strain and stress we feel when something does happen.
Lindsay Gordon 22:41
sometimes it's a tug and pull too between, like work and kids, you know, and or parents and kids, or friends and work. You know, sometimes you put that social life on the back burner to focus on other things, but you're right. Like, when you have conversations with people who are living older lives, right? Like, I'm sure you encounter people who are in their 80s and 90s, friendships have to be or maintaining friendships have to be a common denominator of all those long, healthy lives.
Dr. Laurie Hommema 23:10
Absolutely and it's both to maintain your physical health, but again, that mental connection, that mental wellness, that's so important. It's the people that surround you that make a big difference.
Marcus Thorpe 23:24
Yeah, and in your situation, you know, you were stressed and not knowing where you wanted to go, and your husband said, I'm going to book this for you and get you on your way right. I mean, you have to have the right kind of people around at the right times, and finding that support is exactly where you need to be.
Lindsay Gordon 23:37
Got to give my boss a shout out too, because I called. He was call number two. I called Clay, and then I called Colin, and Colin Yoder, he said, Whatever you need done tomorrow, please let me know, and we'll take over.
Marcus Thorpe 23:49
And I know you're in the right spot, right when you hear those kind of words.
Lindsay Gordon 23:49
Makes all the difference.
Dr. Laurie Hommema 23:52
And then, and then, the folks who I really worry about are those who don't work in those type of environments, right, or have the support in their life, or really, are truly isolated when, when something breaks, often, they kind of break with it, right? So how do we think, as as a as a city, as a state? How do we build those safety net programs so people aren't kind of left, left out when something happens?
Marcus Thorpe 24:16
Yep, safety nets and then breaking the stigma. Those two things are so critically important with what we're doing. This has been a great conversation, so important. And Dr. Hommema, we knew you'd be the right person for this topic, and we can't thank you enough for your insight and your encouragement. I think it'll go a long way for people if they listen to this.
Dr. Laurie Hommema 24:32
Yeah, thank you.
Marcus Thorpe 24:33
And remember, your mental wellness is not a luxury. It is certainly a necessity. If you're struggling, know that there's help out there. You don't have to do this alone. If you'd like more resources, support and to listen to past episodes of the wellness conversation, it's very easy. Ohiohealth.com/wellnessconversation
Lindsay Gordon 24:49
And we want to thank you for joining us on this episode of the wellness conversation and OhioHealth podcast. Before we wrap up, we're inviting you to follow us on all major social channels, to stay. Up to date on new episodes and other health and wellness topics. You'll might you might see us time to time, put up a post, and you can weigh in, ask a question to be answered on an upcoming episode. And like Marcus said, if you're looking for more information on OhioHealth Services and locations, you can visit ohiohealth.com
Marcus Thorpe 25:16
All the information in this episode will also be available on the podcast page. Make sure you're subscribing to join the conversation. One final note before we say goodbye On this episode, we are just getting started, so we need you. Reviews and ratings help us keep the conversation going with you. It also helps others to find us and join the conversation too. As always, thanks for joining us.